My Crossroads to bear.
So last night I didn’t get much sleep as there has been an issue that has been bothering me of late that kind of came to a for front yesterday after I read a review of Demon Blade that came out. Now I can say that the review was quite brutal and honest about my work and a repeating factor about my work honestly came up and told me I need to spend more time fine tuning my craft. I even got to a place in the past week of looking to conclude my work and not go on with my craft. But then I would look back at the words I wrote weeks before on my fridge of “I will Stride, I will Survive, I will succeed!” Learning this lesson long ago I am able to push on and I will not be giving up anytime soon on my work that has been a part of me over years. I also wanted to give a lesson to people about art that So many don’t get. It’s the difference of learning how to draw from how to books vs learning how to draw from yourself.
The repeating thing is many people have pointed out my work has at times issues with anatomy that I do not always follow the basics of the 8 heads rule in comic art. “Truth is if you look at popular comics especially manga folks this method is actually, Bull” The fact is a lesson of difference in approach individuals take in art and a lesson my art teachers back in the day would rake across me for is finding your own style. People these days that create art don’t learn this lesson and it really is a shame, as it’s a difference in being memorable artist vs just an artist. We try to set up a collection of rules and guides for how to draw a comic. In fact a man (love him or hate him) I had in the past year had email exchanges with has made a fortune writing books on the very subject that man is, Chris Hart. More and more people teach how to create a stylized form of art it makes something less about the artist and their interpretation of creation and more about a way to make something that sells.
Look back at the stuff in entertainment that you really remember, what do you see. Do you remember it for its dramatic realism, its gritty form, and its wonderful story, its light hearted take on life or reflection? Chances are yeah that is what you take most from a piece. This is more often conveyed through the artist’s individual style and not just the mathematical breakdown of the image. Here are a few examples, Calvin and Hobbes a wonder comic that has a very stylized technique (does not follow anatomy by the book), One Piece, Oda is the biggest selling comic artist of the world, he has a very rough and stylized art style yet most his work again doesn’t follow the rules of anatomy (in fact it’s the thing that turns most people from his work), The fact of the matter is we need to stop looking at the rules of art because in all honesty art doesn’t have rules this has been a repeating issue of centuries of art. It’s why we has impressionist, surrealist, Dadaist, and so on.
So is anatomy not needed in comics? No it does need to be looked at mainly when it comes to the way the body moves, but what is equally if not more important is making sure one gives equal focus to the surrounding elements of conveying movement through foreshortening, perspective and shaping the image as a whole, all effecting the style of the work. But these aren’t lessons one must throw off when style is more the function, you have to stand there and ask yourself, do I want to create something for money, or do I want to create something memorable to someone.
I often have struggled with this and its where I now stand losing sleep over. As I promised myself this past year to try to do less personalization of myself on the web in the form outside my own works (aka Facebook, twitter and other sites I stand on) While I need to work more on my art, I also need to move on in my life. I stand at a impasse do I work to survive in life (getting a good paying job spending my free time being creative) or do I work to survive in creation (Working on my creations and struggling to make money) for the last few years its been the role of surviving in creating, telling stories and drawing art I felt would be something to share with the world. I wouldn’t eat at times, My sleeping mainly came to me at a desk, chair or if I was working in a bed then there. I would never many money to survive. I could go the route with my work and pester people with crowd sourcing and surviving on cheap food, cheap housing and essentially begging for money to go on. Or I could toss my creativeness aside and follow the rules of life and become the quote cog in the system, choosing my survival over my creations. I stand a cross road and now I have a choice to make.
Let my creative side wither and go ignored, or let it flourish and degrade myself even further in life. They say Art is one step from insanity. Having witnessed it in people I have met and even been called insane before in my life I can understand that statement in people. But there is another saying I once heard, The people who make the biggest waves are the ones who drown the quickest. When one struggles with art you are trying to survive long enough to get noticed and make a living. But chances are like so many to come you likely will go unnoticed and eventually just die obscure with the only wealth in your pocket being the dream you held hoping to pass it on in life to others in time.
So here is where I make a choice, whether I have one billion fans or just one, whether I make millions of dollars on my work or if I die in the gutter with not a cent to my name holding on to a scrap of paper with doodles drawn on it. Nether matters to me. I am the artist I live to create a world of stories imagination and art. And while I may not survive even another year, another week, another day. I will live on grasping the dream to the end. A dream I created and a dream I share in own way in my own suffering.
I had a discussion with my family about what I need to survive off of with having a roof over my head and food to eat, and come a year if I cannot find a way I am unable to live with such luxuries as warm bed and a stomach not going hungry. I have a year, to prepare myself to live that way if I must. But the first steps are taken today as I promise myself to live my life pursuing a dream no matter what struggles I face. I will give my life to my craft and let it help guide me to survival or ruin. I will build the style I create, evolving it and with each new project and work. I do not create for others I create for myself. It is how I will survive no matter how long that maybe.
